Thursday, October 05, 2006


After a good 13.1 on Sunday, Monday off, a decent 6.3 on the home Landice on Tuesday (splits - 7:21, 6:54, 6:49, 6:44, 6:23, 6:48). Right ankle still experiencing limited movement, but okay for running, apparently. And, new, starting to feel something in left aductor.

I feel I may be turning a corner in my belief system. Raised Christian (Baptist), I've always been at least a borderline agnostistic. Reading more of Richard Dawkins lately (The Selfish Gene, The God Delusion). Religion seems, more and more than ever to me, to be so made up, make believe. Religion is a virus.

It doesn't even excel in the areas where it supposes to excel - in inspiring awe in and communion with the Cosmos. Rather, it encourages complacence, comfort, and an utter lack in curiosity about the world in which we live. So much emphasis on the afterlife, as if this life, wonderful as it is, is not enough! How greedy can you get? This isn't enough? You want *more* than this? Eternal life?! Jesus Christ!

It's definitely not that Dawkins is convincing me of anything I didn't already feel. Rather he's encouraging me to come out of the closet. I've *always* had serious doubts about religion, from the beginning, 7 yearsof age or even earlier, it just always sounded so fantastic - really? Is this stuff really true? Wow, I mean, it sounds so, well, unbelievable!

I was the kid who asked where the dinosuars fit in in all this, in Sunday School, and was greeted with a cold stare, like what kind of idiotic question is that? Like that question should just not be asked. And that was very unsatisfying.

I almost feel a sense of freedom. Or like I know a secret - The Emperor Has No Clothes! Or like I'm getting away with something. I know everyone else, religious, is, excuse me, full of shit. Allowing myself, for the first time in my life to (almost) embrace athiesm, what I've known in my heart/mind, all the time, to be true.


At 1:24 AM, Anonymous Audrey said...

I think your language in the last paragraph is a bit strong :) But other than that I'm on the same page. I'm atheist. I think people are going to look back and shake their heads in disbelief at us someday-the same way we think that about earlier societies' beliefs that we've disproven with science.

BUT, as my Dad, playing devil's advocate, said to me:

How can you not be agnostic Audrey? I mean, no one in the history of the world really KNOWS...but YOU KNOW?

At 10:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting to hear your point of view. I grew up Baptist as well, however, I still believe in God. I've seen so much evidence in my life. (I know, you've heard it all before!) As for that dinosaur question when you were a kid. . .too bad that adult wasn't educated. I believe dinosaurs do fit into that picture, but something tells me you'd rather not hear me go on about all that. :)

Hope your ankle loosens up soon. Happy running!

At 10:08 PM, Blogger David said...

I've always felt as your Dad does. But recently I've questioned that stance as being not tenable.

As Dawkins points out, there are literally an *infinite* number of things which might exist but which cannot be readily disproved (china teapots orbiting the sun, for example); the existence of a god is just one among them.

And just because it is possible for something to exist, does not automatically mean it is a 50-50 proposition. Maybe the probability is more like 10% or 1% or 0.001%.

At 10:30 PM, Blogger David said...

Annette, thanks for the comments. I should clarify, as Audrey rightly pointed out, my last words were a bit harsh. I'd never intend to criticize any individual's beliefs. My problem with religion, beyond my own personal struggles, is its presence in public policy and education, etc., where I believe it has no place.

At 9:02 AM, Blogger Susan said...

I applaude you David. As a child and teenager being raised by athiests was a struggle. But now as an adult, it's quite sobering.


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